


Although it is 2008, sometimes it feels as though
we are still back in the stone ages. Men and
women are attracted to each other the same way,
our genes
dictate who we will be attracted to, but how and
why? Can we change it? Do we want to?
Men are attracted to women by the hip to waist
ratio, whether it is conscious or not. Then they
look at a woman's smile, shape, size, hair, eyes,
teeth, legs, thighs, buttocks, breasts, face, hair,
arms, hands, waist, neck, abs, and feet, but not in
that order. We, of course, do the same thing (not
the hip to waist ratio), we subconsciously seek a
mate that will be a 'good father' for our children.
People are also attracted to each other by
pheromones, habits, hobbies, sports, income
(money), position or occupation, and power. With
so much going on subconsciously how can one
change how to pick the right mate or friends? A
difficult task for some and easy for others.
Think ageism, sexism, racism, or just plain
discrimination is a problem. Guess what? We all
use discrimination every day to make decisions
about what we like and don't like. That's right,
discrimination. It enables us to weed out things or
people we don't think fit neatly into what we
believe we want. Does that shock you? It did the
first time I read it, and then I realized we all do it
consciously and unconsciously. Feel slighted
when someone you like won't talk to or even look
at you? He may be doing you a favor. While you
may be physically attracted to his looks or his
scent (pheromones), his body is telling him you
are not suited for him. It's nothing personal. And
forcing a relationship would probably just mean
ultimate divorce. And who wants that! Being
yourself is the most important key to finding
someone who wants you for you, but how do you
do that when you don't know who your are? It
starts with the mirror!
Not happy with what you see in the mirror? It's
what we feel about what we see and what we
believe others see when they look at us. Watching
too much television and seeing too many ads will
do that! It has been proven that in areas of the
world that do not have television or advertising,
that men and women do not feel insecure about
their bodies. In fact, things we find unappealing
(even disgusting) are symbols of pride, such as
signs of aging, stretch marks, scars, and
excessive weight. Sounds outrageous, I know, but
also true.
In more civilized cultures, we appreciate the
aesthetics of the human form, but forget that the
scars, wrinkles, weight, and stretch marks are
hallmark signs of achievement (childbirth and
wisdom of aging). Scars tell a story all their own:
injuries, surgeries, and life's little mishaps.
Wrinkles are not always caused by aging,
sometimes they are caused by smiling or
laughing too much. Weight and stretch marks
often appear during puberty and are difficult if not
impossible to get off. But they are no longer
impossible to remove.
I know, you've heard it all before. You may have
even heard this, but maybe you didn't read
enough to understand that healing the body,
mind, and spirit (soul) are what's needed to be
whole. You can use all the makeup in the world,
but if you feel ugly inside, everyone senses it! Yes!
They can sense it! Your body betrays you! It allows
others to sense what you feel inside! Enhancing
our bodies with jewelry, perfume, makeup, lotions
and creams, fancy or popular clothing, shoes, hair
products, contact lenses, tooth whiteners, do just
that, enhance! They do not change your chemical
makeup or your genes!
What appeals to us is partially encoded in the
genes (hip-to-waist ratio and pheromones), while
the rest is behavioral, environmental, aesthetics,
and cultural.
Seeking someone that does not fit into your own
bodies requirements (because their's may be
different from your) can make you miserable.
Figure out what you find attractive. Make a list of
physical attributes and psychological attributes.
Determine which are most important and why!
That's what you really want. Aesthetically
speaking, we don't all want to have the great
looking guy with the great body. Some of us are
not attracted to looks. Some of us are attracted to
intelligence, you know, what everyone calls
GEEKS. Every now and then you can find both in
the same package. Some of us are attracted to
money and power, while others are attracted to
sports and athletics. Ever wonder why they have
groupies? I've seen groupies hang onto Artists
arms just like movie stars. Even stranger, women
and men met and marry mates that are and will
be in prison for life. Why? Again, make a list of
physical attributes and psychological attributes.
Determine which are most important and why!
The attributes you find most appealing may even
be monetary. Why? Maybe a great need for
security, financial security. Security is #1 in the
hierarchy of needs (not wants).
Did you know that the majority of female college
students, when they first enter college seeks love
(and an aesthetically pleasing partner) but if their
first relationship goes bust (during the survey) by
the time they finish college, they are seeking
security. This is the norm females about
40-years-old, not 24 or 25. So why is it
happening? Females have determined if they
cannot have love, then they will take security
instead. But are they happy? No! So don't envy
them. You may be poorer, but you are happier!
Figured out what floats your boat yet? Know what
doesn't? It may help you find out what you do like.
Here are some attributes, just pick the qualities
you find attractive in a mate or focus on the ones
you don't like. What you find appealing actually
tells you a lot about who you are. There are
about 200 emotions. Even more physical
attributes. Not all of them are listed but you get the
picture.
Notice that your needs are fewer than your
desires or wants?
Psycho-social attributes
|
Physical attributes
|
Hierarchy of needs attributes
|
good natured
|
handsome
|
power
|
thoughtful
|
plain looking
|
wealth
|
kind hearted
|
ugly
|
position
|
funny
|
attractive
|
goal oriented
|
comedic
|
beautiful eyes
|
aggressive
|
sullen
|
slumps
|
secure financially
|
sad
|
stands straight
|
secure emotionally
|
hateful
|
scars
|
intelligence
|
agressive
|
stretch marks
|
public appraisal
|
mean
|
diseased
|
love of mate
|
helpful
|
muscular
|
love of children
|
intelligent
|
athletic
|
children (biological)
|
ignorant
|
thin
|
children (adopted)
|
loves children
|
obese
|
career oreinted
|
loves animals
|
mustache
|
physically fit
|
kind to the elderly
|
sideburns
|
emotionally fit
|
loves nature
|
beard
|
well liked
|
health minded
|
hairy arm pits
|
loved
|
goal oriented
|
hairy body
|
admired
|
eco conscious
|
clean shaven
|
envied
|
violent
|
well-groomed
|
consciously gives back to the community
|
passive
|
musky smelling
|
home/shelter from the environment
|
cowardly
|
sweaty
|
income
|
heoric
|
clean
|
land
|
absent minded
|
slovenly
|
friends
|
thoughtless
|
tall
|
family
|
carless
|
short
|
community
|
careful
|
medium stature
|
mate/spouse
|
tender
|
big feet
|
cultured
|
whitty
|
large hands
|
responsible
|
charming/charism atic
|
great smile
|
dependable
|
rude
|
dresses nice
|
healthy
|
sardonic
|
slouchy
|
sex
|
sarcastic
|
good hearing
|
heterosexual/bisex ual/gay/lesbian/tra nsexual/transgend er
|
cheerful
|
doesn't snore
|
|
moody
|
ears too big
|
|
depressed
|
ears too small
|
|
bi-polar
|
flat stomach
|
|
crafty
|
flat buttocks
|
|
artistic
|
flat feet
|
|
mechanically inclined
|
blonde
|
|
stupid
|
brunette
|
|
loud
|
black hair
|
|
bold
|
red hair
|
|
responsible
|
green eyes
|
|
irresponsible
|
blue eyes
|
|
dependable
|
grey eyes
|
|
strong
|
brown eyes
|
|
weak
|
hazel eyes
|
|
aloft
|
pale skin
|
|
narrow-minded
|
dark skin
|
|
focused
|
albino
|
|
bigotted
|
yellow skin
|
|
tempermental
|
black/brown skin
|
|
fussy
|
curly hair
|
|
even tempered
|
straight hair
|
|
well mannered
|
wavy hair
|
|
spontaneous
|
kinky hair
|
|
out of control
|
frizzy hair
|
|
common sense
|
thin hair
|
|
abusive
|
thick hair
|
|
religious
|
flabby skin
|
|
agnostic
|
soft skin
|
|
scientologist
|
scaly skin
|
|
popular
|
acne
|
|
shy
|
olive colored skin
|
|
bully
|
smooth, subtle skin
|
|
excitable
|
muscular arms
|
|
withdrawn
|
muscular legs
|
|
spastic
|
great abs
|
|
loving
|
strong
|
|
scary
|
weak
|
|
huggable
|
healthy
|
|
kissable
|
sickly
|
|
offensive
|
disabled
|
|
impulsive
|
handicapped
|
|
outgoing
|
physically deformed
|
|
introverted
|
anorexic
|
|
extroverted
|
bulemic
|
|
tearful
|
gimpy
|
|
joyful
|
limp
|
|
calm
|
sexy
|
|
sedate
|
dirty
|
|
disgusting
|
nasty
|
|
proud/pride/pridef ul
|
filthy
|
|
shame/shameful
|
preppy
|
|
lust/lusty/lustful
|
messy
|
|
sexy
|
neat
|
|
spiteful
|
dressy
|
|
generous
|
mean eyes
|
|
tight
|
glaring eyes
|
|
anal retentive
|
stark
|
|
spiteful
|
|
|
gracious
|
|
|
graceful
|
|
|
intense
|
|
|
loose
|
|
|
peppy
|
|
|
saucy
|
|
|
saintly
|
|
|
sinful
|
|
|
sassy
|
|
|
extravagant
|
|
|
obnoxious
|
|
|
wonderful
|
|
|
delightful
|
|
|
whim/whimiscal
|
|
|
thinker
|
|
|
doer
|
|
|
actor
|
|
|
pretender
|
|
|
liar
|
|
|
dishonest
|
|
|
cheat/cheater
|
|
|
scoundrel
|
|
|
lawful
|
|
|
lawless
|
|
|
sociopath
|
|
|
psychopath
|
|
|
glee/gleeful
|
|
|
merry
|
|
|
gay
|
|
|
nosey
|
|
|
concerned
|
|
|
helpful
|
|
|
harmful
|
|
|
compulsive
|
|
|
neglectful
|
|
|
worry/worrier
|
|
|
anxious/anxiety
|
|
|
panicky
|
|
|
agoraphobic
|
|
|
phobic
|
|
|
attention oriented
|
|
|
attention deficit
|
|
|
hyper
|
|
|
smart
|
|
|
beautiful
|
|
|
ugly
|
|
|
plain
|
|
|
naughty
|
|
|
well behaved
|
|
|
misbehaved
|
|
|
respectful
|
|
|
disresptful
|
|
|
jealous
|
|
|
envious
|
|
|
greedy
|
|
|
angelic
|
|
|
|

Generation
|
White
|
African American
|
Hispanic
|
Baby Boomers 1946-1964
|
75%
|
11%
|
9%
|
Eco Boomers 1977-1994
|
66%
|
15%
|
14%
|
|
Life Expectan cy (1998)
|
United States
|
Switzerla nd
|
Austria
|
Australia
|
United Kingdom
|
Netherla nds
|
Canada
|
France
|
Male
|
60
|
79
|
77
|
42
|
56
|
63
|
53
|
64
|
Female
|
58
|
76
|
67
|
47
|
55
|
42
|
47
|
60
|
|
Bone is made up of calcium and protein. When we need calcium, it is
taken away from the bone, Calcium on the bone is then replenished if
we consume enough, if not.....This is why you see individuals as young
as 35 with bone loss. A severe loss of bone is called osteoporosis.
Osteoporosis as we age occurs after many years of calcium depletion,
where the outer bone thins and the inner bone becomes spongy. As we
age, individuals with osteoporosis will become shorter in stature (lose
height), have back pain, and develop a curvature of the spine, like a
hump back (dowagers hump). This curvature can cause the bones to
fracture under the pressure. While getting enough calcium at the right
time (between birth and age 30) is extremely important, once
osteoporosis occurs, there are prescriptions (including HRT, which
most doctors will not prescribe if you've had a heart attack or stroke)
and new medical procedures that may help. Another bone problem is
arthritis. It is a chronic degenerative joint disease that is the number
one cause of disability in the elderly. It affects more than 1/3 of men
and 1/2 of women over the age of 65.The causes of arthritis are
overuse (like repetitive and assembly line work), viral infections,
bacterial infections, and injury (sports and accidents). Arthritis causes
pain, swelling, and sometime deformity of the joints, from a loss of
cartilage which protects the bones from rubbing against each other.
Over the counter anti-inflammatory medications like ibuprofen or aleve
can reduce swelling and pain, but as the conditions worsens,
prescriptions may be required. Symptoms of Rheumatoid arthritis are
more severe. It is caused by the immune system attacking synovial
membranes that line the joint and cartilage. Rheumatoid arthritis can
cause scarring, deformity of joints, chronic severe pain in the afflicted
joint, usually hands, fingers, feet, and hips. It affects more women than
men and can occur at any age (it affected my sister-in-law at age 22).
Many with rheumatoid arthritis become wheelchair bound or have
mobility problems as well as require prosthetics or orthopedic braces.
Artificial joint replacement can last as long as 15 years, then they must
be replaced again.
Muscles in the human body respond to voluntary movements (human
control) or involuntary. Muscles and bones work together to produce
movement. The muscular system's longevity depends on how long we
stay actively engaged, but in general begins to decline around age 30,
but not noticeably until age 50. Individuals may lose up to 30% of their
muscle mass between ages 30 to 80. Any physical injury which reduces
physical activity (causing muscle atrophy), including stroke, can reduce
muscle mass up to 40 to 60% of their muscle mass and would require
extensive physical therapy. The elderly and injured are more likely to
restrict exercise and movement because of pain from the injury or
arthritis, which is one reason physicians recommend you exercise even
if you develop arthritis.
Climacteric changes are the changes in the human reproductive
system and includes both physical and behavioral, and begins around
middle age. Men and women experience different aspects in this
particular area because their bodies are different. While it is definite
that women will begin to experience perimenopause, then menopause
(complete cessation of the menstrual cycle around age 50 in the U.S.),
men may experience erectile dysfunction (difficulty getting or
maintaining an erection long enough to complete the sexual act) as a
result of declining hormones.
Several things can occur to the cardiovascular system as we age.
Changes in blood vessels, hypertension, hypertensive cardiovascular
disease, and angina are the most common. The cardiovascular system
consists of the heart and blood vessels. Consider it your fuel line, water
line, or power line for the human body. It pumps the necessary fuel to
the body, including oxygen and nutrients, and removes wastes. As we
age, a diet rich in fatty foods or sugars clog up the vessels. Clogged
arteries, high stress, inactivity, in conjunction with normal aspects of
aging, increase of nonconducting cells and weakened muscles can
cause an irregular heart beat and eventually lead to a bypass or
pacemaker. As we get older, we also tend to lose skin elasticity, the
same occurs inside our bodies to our blood vessels, which in turn,
increases blood pressure. Hypertension or high blood pressure, has
few symptoms but can overwork the heart. This can result in a heart
attack, stroke, or ruptured blood vessel. As we age, plaque (fatty
deposits) can form in the narrow arteries that carry blood away from the
heart. Again, this can cause a heart attack. Hypertension that causes a
heart attack is called hypertensive cardiovascular disease. While it
has genetic predisposition, there are other factors that can be
prevented. Angina, a severe chest pain, can precede a heart attach.
Angina has more psychological factors than genetic or medical.
Prevention of Age Related Damage:
Prevention is all about protecting your body before damage occurs.
Eating a well-balanced diet, taking vitamin supplements, drinking plenty
of fluids, getting enough sleep, and getting regular (medical or
physical) check ups is a great beginning. Protect your body from injury
or damage, especially from the sun. Use sun screen, sun glasses, an
umbrella, or proper clothing. While most of us try to protect our health,
sometimes damage occurs for other reasons, including aging.
Exterior Body
Prevention of age related damage (other than injury or genetic issues)
to the skin can be as easy as taking vitamin supplements and using a
moisturizer daily. Experimenting with the different brands will allow you
to find the one most likely to help or maintain your skins glow and
youthful appearance. Using an exfoliant once a month to remove, dry
dead skin works best. If your skin already has that aged look, tiny lines,
wrinkles, and sagging, then other methods like the infrared light
therapy and vitamin supplements will rebuild collagen and gradually
diminish wrinkles, stretch marks, scars, and cellulite.
Brain Function
One of the easiest ways to protect the brain is to keep the brain active
for as long as possible. Take courses at your local college (beyond
retirement age most colleges offer courses free to senior citizens). Or
work puzzles, play word games, anything that requires thought. Many
companies produce and sell supplements engineered toward protecting
and promoting better brain function.
Sensory Organs
The sensory organs, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin require the
proper care to ensure they last a lifetime. Regular eye exams should
catch any eye problems, but allergies, dry eye, and lack of vitamins can
cause serious (and blinding) results. Your ears can be protected in
several ways. First, extremely loud music can eventually cause
deafness and is not age related. In fact, this type of deafness is found
in younger people. Wearing ear plugs at work where the noise levels
are beyond 70 to 85 decibels will help you retain your hearing longer.
Using ear plugs while swimming will reduce the amount of ear infections
which can result in permanent hearing loss. Also, protecting them from
the wind and cold. While losing the sense of smell is generally age
related, several things effect the nose and sinuses. Nose picking,
putting the fingers in the nose can cause infections. Infections can a
reduced sense of smell and effect the ears. Allergies, prolonged
exposure to allergens can also reduce the sense of smell. Our sense of
taste can be severely effected at young ages. Repeated burns in short
periods of time can kill taste buds and sense of taste. Thrush, Candida
in the mouth and on the tongue can reduce sense of taste as well. Our
skin is the easiest to take care and yet the most neglected. Skin cannot
repair itself from damage if it is dry. Moisturize daily.
Skeletal System
One of the best ways to prevent damage to the skeletal system is to
make sure that you get enough calcium between birth and age 30. If
you didn't then you are no longer doing preventative health. Another is
to avoid repetitive occupations or activities. Also, avoiding injury as
much as possible will help prevent getting arthritis in areas whereas
others' have had broken bones. As you get older, calcium and
vitamin supplements are a necessity, not simply a fad or something
you should do if you can 'afford' them at the time. Not taking
supplements when they are needed have long-term and quite often
painful consequences. Cut corners somewhere else if you must, but not
on your vitamins.
Muscular System
As in any other system in the body, avoiding injury is key to maintaining
the longevity of the muscular system. Regular exercise, regardless of
mobility, can help maintain muscle. Not only is a sedentary lifestyle bad
for the heart, it is also bad for the muscular system. For the proper type
and amount of exercise seek medical advice or advice from a physical
therapist or physical trainer.
Reproductive System
Climacteric changes in men and women can be treated differently but
there is no preventative health care to ward of the effects of aging on
the reproductive system. First, hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
can help the symptoms of menopause in women such as irritability, hot
flashes, vaginal dryness, fatigue, anxiety, weight gain, volatile mood
swings. Unfortunately, HRT can increase the risk of breast cancer,
especially in women who smoke. And in most cases, unless the
symptoms are the worst of the worst, women who have experienced a
stroke cannot get HRT and will have to resort to OTC's for relief of it's
symptoms. Again, in men, the effects of aging on the reproductive
system are not preventative. Viagra and many other prescriptive
medications have been found very effective on erectile dysfunction.
Cardiovascular System
Most cardiovascular problems can be avoided by eating a good diet
(avoid fats, read meats, whole milk, cheese, ice cream), getting enough
exercise (at least 3 days a week), not smoking, learning good ways of
coping with stress (conflict resolution), earning enough money
(associated with higher education), seeing a physician regularly (yearly
physical), having friends and family to talk to and enjoy their company,
good living conditions, and most of all, a companion of your own.
Social and Psychological Aspects of Aging
How do you envision your golden years? Most of us would like to think
we will be surrounded by our loving children and grandchildren, good
friends, a comfortable, and safe home, the yearly vacation, adequate
income to pay the bills, buy groceries, and whatever else we need, and
reasonably good health. Unfortunately, more than a 1/3 of U.S.
residents will live in poverty and suffer very poor health in their golden
years.
As we age, our ability to get out and move about decline, as well as our
income and our ability to socialize with family and friends.
We experience decreases in virtually every aspect of our lives:
economic, social, physical, and psychological.
Who will suffer the worst? Single low income females, with little or no
family, poor health, and with less than a high school education.
And a final note: Did you know that modern medicine was based on
case by case studies and research on male physiology and anatomy,
not women's, then applied to both! Think about it!
Healthy Diet, Exercise, and
Supplements
A healthy diet is necessary for
proper body and brain
functions. What is a healthy
diet? How much exercise do we
have to have? Do I need
supplements?The FDA's food
guide pyramid suggests
percentages of each food
group (below) that constitute
not only a healthy, but
recommended daily diet. Or do
they? What about vegetarians
and vegans? In 1992 that
pyramid was replaced with a
newer version. Read more...